Cruisin' for Love
by artlessICTOAN
Summary: Eagerly going on a cruise by himself for the first time ever, Temari seems determined to embarrass Kankuro, luckily he meets a similarly put-upon little brother with the most gorgeous smile and indisputably genius ideas. KankuKiba, mentioned NaruGaa, modern au, fake relationship


wELL THIS GOT WILDLY OUT OF HAND. I've been wanting to write this for ages, but _really_ wasn't expecting to find myself over 5k words in and feeling far more emotions than this stupid concept really warranted, but here we are anyways and I have no regrets

enjoy folks!

* * *

It'd been over ten minutes now and, frankly, Kankuro was sick of it.

"-you _sure_ that you've got everything you need? You realise that if you've forgotten something important, I won't be driving two-hundred miles into the ocean to drop it off for you."

He didn't even have the energy to glare anymore. "Well, considering that you _repacked my bags for me_ before we left, yeah, I think I'm good… unless you're finally admitting that you don't actually know what you're doing any better than me."

Temari yanked his beanie down over his eyes, tongue clicking in that way that warned of incoming violence if he kept pushing his luck, before she snapped, "Well, considering that _you_ forgot to pack toothpaste and soap, I think I was completely justified!" By now they were drawing more than a few glares – mostly elderly folk looking like they would be tracking down some poor worker to rant at about the loud family argument the second they boarded – though his sister seemed content to barrel on without any care. "Seriously, how did you forget _soap_?"

"I didn't forget! It's a cruise, they're gonna supply that shit for us so it'd just be taking up space for more important things."

She managed to convey an astonishing amount of disdain with just the slightest raise of a brow. "Important things like _five_ separate drones?"

"Yes! In case I lose or break one, we've been over this," he said, not quite managing to not sound like he was talking down to a toddler, "I'm not about to miss out on the shot of a lifetime because some kid tripped over my drone while I was prepping it."

"You sure it's not in case you drop one into the sea because you got distracted by a hot sunbather?"

Before he could gather enough breath to respond, his brother stepped up to gallantly save all the poor old conservative couples milling about in the terminal from the heart attacks that surely would've followed the words he'd been thinking up. "Temari I'm sure he'll be fine, he has everything he needs and he's always very careful with his toys-"

"They aren't _toys_!"

"-can you please not fight, we won't be seeing him for months, I'd like our last meeting to not end on a sour note."

He glanced at his sister and, in that moment of silent communication, they unanimously decided that neither one was willing to carry on an argument in the face of Gaara's sincere and hopeful expression… because they were nice people, obviously, _certainly_ not because Gaara wielded guilt more viciously than a catholic nun.

Temari sighed before wrapping a thick arm loosely around each of her brothers' necks. "Ok, ok, I'll admit that children are terrible and will certainly break at least two of your _toys_ ," she said with a smirk.

He snorted, but didn't try to shrug her off. "Thank you."

"You've definitely got your boarding pass on hand though? And your passport and everything?" She cloaked it in the same nagging tone she'd been using since she kicked him awake at six in the morning – demanding a full recital of the day's itinerary before he'd even managed to wipe the sleep from his eyes – but he knew that she was just worried, so he tried not to take it personally.

Kankuro unzipped his black hoodie enough to flash the documents carefully stowed in the inside pocket. "Yup, I'm all good."

She nodded sharply before continuing, "And you know exactly where you're going and what'll be expected of you as you're boarding?"

"Of course, you've drilled me on it enough times."

"And you'll remember to call home every time you reach a new port to update us?"

"Yes, c'mon no way I'm gonna go more than a week without talkin' to you guys, you know that."

Try as she might to brush past that comment, she couldn't hide the dorky little grin she had on her face. "And you promise you're not gonna do anything stupid and impulsive? I mean if I'm not there to keep an eye on you who knows what you'll do, actually, y'know what, maybe you should just not go, after all you are basically a _toddler_ -"

"Ohhhh-kay, I definitely just heard the boarding announcement, so I'm gonna have to love ya and leave ya sis! Gaara, make sure she doesn't set fire to the kitchen while I'm gone- actually, y'know what, maybe just don't let her set foot in it at all, after all she is basically a culinary accident waiting to happen-" he swiftly bent to grab his bags, pressed a quick kiss to his sister's cheek, ruffled Gaara's hair one last time and charged off towards the loosely forming line of passengers, walking backwards just long enough to wave at his siblings one last time and call out, "see ya in three months dorks!"

His brother awkwardly waved back, while Temari shouted a parting, "Remember to put on sunscreen, idiot!" before grabbing Gaara's arm and dragging him out onto the pier.

In all likelihood they'd be hanging about until they'd seen the ship leave, even if the chances they'd be able to spot him up on deck were miniscule; not like he wasn't going to be looking out for the distinctive splash of bright red in the crowd either.

Though now that he was noticing just how many dirty stares he was receiving from other passengers, he kinda wished that he'd not been quite so eager to leave his siblings.

He scanned the crowd until he found someone who didn't look like they intended to throw him overboard the second they got on the ship – a guy around his age, an expression somewhere between amusement and confusion on his face, standing next to a _huge_ dog wearing a little red jacket with 'service dog' plastered across it – and sidled casually over to him.

The man gave him an uncertain smile, which showed off slightly pointed canines and a little crinkle at the corner of his eyes.

Sensing that the queue wasn't going to be moving anywhere fast, Kankuro figured that he should probably break the tension somehow. He chuckled and pointed in the vague direction of the commotion he'd just been causing, saying a simple, "Big sisters, amiright?"

The slightly awkward smile turned into a full-on grin. " _Dude_."

* * *

Almost six hours into the trip, and Kankuro was having the time of his life.

"-and then she told me that _I_ was the one being unreasonable! After she'd literally gone through all my private belongings!"

The man who he'd quickly discovered was called Kiba snorted loudly. "That's nothing, about a week after I told her I was going on a cruise, I saw Hana trying to book a place on the exact same ship!" His cackle was rough-sounding, but warm and genuine.

Kankuro gaped a little. "No way."

"She tried to play it off like she just suddenly really felt like going somewhere new, but c'mon it couldn't be more obvious what she was doing! She only stopped when her boyfriend reminded her that she gets _really_ bad sea-sickness."

He laughed as he reached for his drink, almost choking as he took a sip. "Ok that's pretty damn bad, still think I can top it though."

Kiba looked more than a little sceptical, hell even his dog was somehow managing to raise a brow at him.

Grinning, he stood up to rummage in one of his bags – still piled up in the corner of his cabin, since as soon as they'd gotten on board and found their rooms, him and his new friend had settled right down to drinking and commiserating over annoying older sisters – finally finding what he was looking for, he grinned and threw it onto the bed.

The young man jumped as it passed by his head, before leaning over to see why he'd just had a book thrown at him. "Comprehensive maritime law, fifth edition," he mumbled out, lifting the thing onto his lap.

"Yup, Temari got it for me as a 'present'-" he made the widest possible finger quotes that the cramped cabin would allow "-and made me memorise the whole thing. She _quizzed_ me on it."

He wasn't sure if that expression was supposed to be horror or awe.

"…Did you actually do it?"

Snorting, Kankuro flopped down on the bed next to him. "Let's just say that if we happen to collide with another ship on our trip, I'll know who was at fault and exactly how much they'll be fined in court."

"Daaaamn…"

The two sat in reflective silence for a few minutes, only broken by the occasional clinking of their beer bottles together, Kiba's casual flicking through the pages of the thick textbook and Akamaru scratching at his dog-jacket.

Tipping the last of his drink down his throat, Kankuro sighed as the final drops clung stubbornly to the bottle.

"I know they're just looking out for us," he mumbled, sitting up and grabbing another drink from the six-pack they'd purchased, "I mean I'd probably be a complete overprotective mess if it was _Gaara_ going on his first trip by himself, but they could give us a little credit at least, it's like Tem thinks I'm gonna do something stupid like sell all my shit and become a travelling hermit the second she's not around to keep me in check."

Kiba nodded eagerly. "Dude, same! Like we're not complete idiots, have a little faith in us."

Flicking off the cap, he took a long swig of beer, snickering as he lowered the bottle again. "Honestly I kinda wanna prank her, pretend to do something really impulsive just to see how she reacts." The mental image alone was already giving him a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

When there wasn't any reaction from his new bestie, Kankuro glanced over, about to ask if he'd fallen asleep when he was met with Kiba staring at an open page of the book like it held all the answers of the universe.

"Dude, dude. I have an idea."

* * *

Temari looked like she'd just been told that Gaara was _not_ actually a softly-spoken, scrawny, sweater wearing dork and in fact lead a secret double-life as a vicious underground wrestler; eyes fluctuating rapidly from narrowed to wide as saucers, lips tracing words she couldn't seem to spit out, head tilting enough that he almost felt sorry for her neck. Even in the low-quality video-chat, it was absolutely glorious.

"Excuse me, _what_?"

He grinned even wider, probably showing off every single one of his teeth by now. "I'm getting' married!"

He was pretty sure that, had it been possible for her to reach through the screen and wrap her hands around his neck, she would've done so with glee.

"I know, I know, it's so sudden, but I dunno how to explain it sis, we met and just… there's something _special_ between us, y'know? I honestly think he's the one," he continued, giving a carefully practised wistful sigh and letting his gaze go unfocused and hazy, "it's like… finding out that there was another half of you missing this whole time and now that you've found it, you can't imagine ever being split in two again."

By now she had completely frozen, mouth hanging wide open, eyes staring blankly into the void.

It was probably good that she apparently couldn't see him right now, because he was sure that his shuddering shoulders and tightly bitten lip would've given him away in a second.

Luckily, Gaara didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, he just nodded sagely. "I completely understand, I felt the exact same way when I met Naruto, I'm so happy that you've found someone who makes you feel that way too." he said, smiling at him in a way that made him feel just a _little_ guilty – but then he saw Temari practically sob as she turned to her youngest brother, and it was all worth it.

"No! Look there's a difference between your weird, soulmate bond thing with Naruto and this idiot deciding to marry someone he's known for less than ten hours!"

Oh, how he loved the way Gaara's face could crumple up like a kicked puppy practically on command. "Temari… you don't believe in soulmates and true love?" From anyone else that might've been condescending, but Gaara just sounded genuinely upset.

"Yeah Tem, do you _not_ think that true love is beautiful?"

He quickly hid his shit-eating grin under a mask of brotherly concern as Temari wildly turned from one sibling to the next. "Wha- no, that's not- How did this get from Kankuro being an idiot to me being insensitive?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure one day you'll find someone who makes you feel complete too." Gaara carefully patted a hand against her shoulder.

Kankuro had to squash his hands under his legs to keep them from shaking he was stifling so much laughter.

She groaned and dropped her head into both palms, fingers rubbing harshly against her temples.

"Anyways, we've already figured everything out; the ceremony will be in two days, the captain's gonna perform it and we'll stream the whole thing so you guys and Kiba's family can watch-"

A hand slammed down against a table. Temari glanced up with the same glint in her eye she got when she'd found a fatal flaw in a prosecution's argument. "No. No no no, no way, ship captains don't actually have that authority-"

He quickly butted in with, "Oh most of 'em yeah, but turns out that weddings at sea are pretty popular with this company, so all of their ships have at least one officer who can officiate a marriage, isn't that great?!"

"No way, I'm not buying this at all," she said, leaning back against the sofa and crossing her arms tightly.

"Thought you might say that, so he agreed to let me send a photo of his license to you-" he didn't mention that the man had _also_ thought the prank sounded hilarious and was planning to go all-out with the vows "-should be in your inbox by now." He grinned as she rushed to tap at her phone, not able to hide his snort when she glared long and hard at it. "Obviously there'll be paperwork to sort out when we get home, but that can wait 'til after the honeymoon; he was gonna go backpacking all around Mizu once we got there anyways, so I'm gonna join him, it'll actually be really good for my work too, I'll be able to take all kinds of photos while I'm there and he'll be with me the whole time, I'm just so fuckin' excited!"

At this point she looked like she was about ready to pass out.

Gaara was almost beaming brighter than Naruto did. "That sounds wonderful, I'm sure you'll be very happy together, will there be any opportunity to give a toast after the ceremony?"

"Bro, there is _nothing I want more_ than you giving a speech about love at my wedding."

Judging by the twitching of Temari's eye, there wasn't going to be any alcohol left in the house by the end of the night.

* * *

"Ok, we're just finishing the room, we'll be ready in five."

Kankuro threw the crewmate a quick thumbs-up before she disappeared back out the door. He turned back to his camera, fiddling with the settings and wondering if perhaps a wide-angle lens might be better, when Kiba finally stopped fussing with his hair – looking no different than it had half an hour ago, as far as he could tell – and slumped down in the chair next to him.

His legs were bouncing rapidly, even as Akamaru flopped his head over his knees and whined. Kiba's hand idly stretched down to rub between his ears. "Is it weird that I'm actually getting kinda nervous?" he asked, chuckling and flashing him a grin, but quickly returning to gnawing on his lip.

"Nah, I'm pretty scared too, Tem's gonna _kill_ me when she finds out this was all a joke."

Kiba coughed, leaning closer to his dog as he mumbled, "I meant like, about the… wedding. I dunno, probably just stage fright or something."

He stopped messing with the camera's aperture and finally really _looked_ at his new friend.

Neither of them had brought suits with them, it wasn't like either of them had expected they'd be faking a wedding during their trip, so they'd borrowed some from the crewmates they'd managed to rope into the prank – which turned out to be a good ten people, plus an armful of random passengers who'd agreed to be the audience – his wasn't even close to big enough, he could barely lift his arms above his shoulders and he'd ended up rolling the sleeves and pant legs up that he could pretend he was going for a casual, cropped look instead of a 'lanky teenager trying to fit into pre-growth spurt school uniform' look.

Kiba had come out looking way better; for one thing his suit actually fit, though he'd left his shirt untucked and his tie was hanging loose to match his not-fiancé's casual air a little better, but he also just… looked good.

 _Really_ good.

It wasn't the first time he'd noticed that, he'd also looked good when they'd first met, and when they'd gone to the ship's pool together, and he looked especially amazing whenever Kankuro managed to make him laugh, which was pretty easy when they seemed to share the exact same sense of humour. Right now though, right now he just looked tired and a little terrified.

He sighed, carefully placing his camera down on the table and leaned forwards enough to lightly tap his knuckles against Kiba's shoulder. "Hey," he mumbled when the younger man finally looked up, "wanna call this off? I really won't mind, and we've kinda already played the prank-"

"No way dude!" Kankuro had to lean back as Kiba'd practically shouted but couldn't keep the smile off his face at how fired up the guy was. "I ain't backing out of this now, just think about how funny it's gonna be if we actually go all out with it, it'll be _amazing_! We'll go down in family legend!"

He snorted, but had to agree; this was already shaping up to be his most elaborate and involved prank ever, they'd even gone as far as changing their status on all their social media to 'engaged' – and he was frankly a little insulted that none of his closest friends had pegged that this wasn't real yet and genuinely thought he was this impulsive – and they'd each met the other's family to really sell the wedding. Temari hadn't been as openly hostile as he'd expected, if only because Gaara had kept twisting the conversation to how wonderful love was and when they got home they'd have to go on a double date with him and Naruto – the blond's idea, of course – and they really do look so very happy together, don't they Temari?

It really couldn't've gone any better, and Kiba was into it just as much as he was, even going so far as to write up a list of presents they'd be expecting once they got home; apparently a photo frame and several mugs had already been delivered to his mother's home.

Still, if there were any doubts…

"You sure? Definitely not just going along with it 'cause of me?"

Dark eyes blinked at him a few times, before Kiba grinned. "Well yeah I kinda am, but we're friends and it was my idea in the first place, so it's not like I'm forcing myself or anything, think I was just getting caught up in the mood of it, gettin' anxious over nothing, like usual, I'm good now… I think may-"

At the click of the door opening, Kiba's mouth snapped shut, forever cutting off whatever he was going to say. They both stared at the crewmate poking her head around the door. "Ok guys, ready when you are!"

With one last glance to check they were both on the same page, Kankuro stepped out of the room, passing his camcorder to the designated camerawoman and holding his hand out to Kiba.

"C'mon then, let's go get hitched!"

* * *

Everyone agreed that the wedding had been beautiful; the captain had been almost as emotional as they had, as he spoke of the value of marriage and how thrilled he was to be joining them in holy matrimony, his and Kiba's vows were both overly-long and disgustingly poetic, they'd both managed to cry during them – with the aid of some covert eyedrops – and his brother had indeed prepared a speech that was genuinely moving, even if he somehow made it ninety percent about his own boyfriend and not the newlywed couple.

There was also the first kiss, which had gone surprisingly smoothly, considering.

Perhaps a little _too_ smoothly, the way the memory of it kept popping back into Kankuro's head every ten minutes was more than a little distracting, but, in just a few minutes the whole prank would be over and it would hopefully stop replaying with such vivid recollections of the texture of Kiba's lips and the warmth of the hand that had pressed against his waist.

He only noticed that he'd stopped typing when Akamaru's heavy head dropped onto his lap. Fuck, what was he supposed to be doing again?

Oh yeah, the prank.

Him and Kiba had agreed to leave the reveal for one day, to better let the horrifying reality of the situation sink in for their sisters, who were apparently the only ones actually questioning the marriage – Kiba's mother was possibly the coolest woman alive, she'd even suggested making them a 'care package' of condoms, sex toys and a collection of dirty novels for when they returned, much to Kiba's horror.

Hopefully they would be revealing the truth _before_ she went through with that plan.

Finally done fussing with his laptop, Kankuro leaned back and turned to his 'husband' with a wide smirk. "Ok, video-chat's ready, let's blow some minds."

Kiba practically cackled as the call went through, waiting for both families to answer, throwing an arm over Kankuro's shoulders just as four faces blinked up on screen. Grinning, he leaned even closer and waved to the camera. "Hey ma, hey sis!"

Hana's glare was definitely scary, but it still had nothing on Temari, who'd apparently shot straight through her regular anger and gone into constant, tense smiling mode. Even _Gaara_ looked unnerved.

"Hello boys, so how's married life?" Tsume asked, a grin eerily similar to her son's splitting her face.

They looked at each other from the corner of their eyes, before breaking out into snickers at the exact same time. Snickers turned to snorts, turned to outright cackling, as they leaned on each other for support and their families grew progressively more confused.

It took a minute for them to gather enough breath to say, in perfect unison, "You _fell_ for it, suckers!"

They immediately devolved back into howling laughter, but Kankuro was sure to keep an eye on the reactions. An expected ten seconds of confused silence passed, Tsume was the first to unfreeze, breaking out into a laugh even louder and more obnoxious than Kiba's, while next to her Hana was repeatedly muttering 'what' to herself, over and over.

Easily the best reaction came from his own sister though; wordlessly, still with that horrifying, toothy non-smile on her face, Temari rose from her seat and disappeared out of sight – walking straight out of the room and down the hall if Gaara's eyeline was anything to go by.

"You fAKED IT?" Hana finally managed to break out of her trance, screaming directly into the camera, shoving her still-cackling mother out of the way to better glare at the two.

Kiba managed to collect himself somewhat, enough to say, "C'mon, you didn't _actually_ think I was stupid enough to marry someone I've known for two days, did you? I'm insulted" though he quickly returned to laughing, as his sister screamed and started swearing at him and their mother for finding this so funny, before the Inuzuka end of the call went dead, presumably the woman had slammed her laptop shut in her rage.

"That," Kankuro gasped through his tears, "was in- fucking-credible. You're never gonna be able to go home."

His friend nodded, clawing himself back into a sitting position and wiping a finger under his eyes. "Worth it, _so_ worth it!" he said, calming his breathing down enough to stare at the screen uncertainly. "Uh… dude, what's up with your brother?" he whispered, not looking away.

Kankuro blinked at him, then risked a glance at the screen, where Gaara was still sitting perfectly still, a tiny frown crinkling his brows as he mentally worked through that most daunting enigma, social interaction. He couldn't help wincing a bit in sympathy – the kid wasn't the most perceptive at the best of times, he probably didn't even understand any of what had just happened.

He was ready to apologise and explain, when there was a distant thud and Temari came storming back into frame.

She sat down with a deadly kind of poise, stared directly into the camera and said, voice clear and calm and terrible, "You motherfucking asshole, I hope you two enjoyed your little stunt, because I swear I will make the rest of your lives a living hell."

A chill ran right down his spine, before clawing its way back up and sinking its claws deep into his neck.

Gaara gently tugged on his sister's sleeve. "Temari… what's going on, I don't understand…"

Not breaking her gaze with the objects of her wrath for a second, Temari spoke three damning words, "Starting right now."

Then she turned to Gaara, took both his hands in hers and softly said, "Kankuro lied to us about getting married, he was pulling one of his stupid pranks the whole time, he lied about falling in love and I'd bet _anything_ that he was making fun of you for believing in soulmates too." She gave his hands a squeeze, before turning to the camera once more. "You brought this on yourselves." With her piece said, she rose once more and coolly sauntered away, the click of a door loud in the sudden, dreadful silence.

He wanted to run away, but his eyes were fixed to the screen, not even Kiba's murmured questions enough to tear them away, as his brother looked up at them with his wide, sad, betrayed eyes. "Kankuro, you… lied to me?"

As he faced the weight of explaining to his sweetheart of a baby brother why this all had seemed like a funny idea at the time, Kankuro decided that, in hindsight, maybe the prank _hadn't_ been worth it.

* * *

Another round of drinks was placed before them, Kankuro and Kiba wordlessly took the shots and downed them.

If he closed his eyes, he could still picture the devastated expression as he told Gaara that he hadn't actually met his soulmate and had only faked it so well by copying various cheesy romance films and that no one actually fell in love in a single day, except for him and Naruto apparently.

He shuddered and called for another drink.

"God, that was fucking rough," Kiba said, his first words in hours, "is this how you live? I thought Hana was harsh…"

He laughed, somewhat hysterically, into his glass. "And that was just the beginning too, I think I she might actually be digging my grave right this second."

"It was nice knowing you man."

Kankuro nodded solemnly, raising his drink in a silent toast to his own demise; Kiba automatically clinked his own against it. "Don't weep for me, just make sure to tell my story."

The man snickered, lop-sided grin plastered across his face.

It was a _very_ good look on him, a thought which quickly had Kankuro descending once more into his drink. "Gotta admit though, it was nice pranking with a fellow master, you really know your stuff, wouldn't mind doing it again sometime…" He paused with his glass hovering just shy of his lips and recalled the horror Temari had planned for him. "…Maybe not to our sisters though. I like being able to sleep with both eyes shut."

There was a heavy 'clunk' as Kiba's glass dropped against the bar – though the man was careful enough to not let a single drop spill – free hand clutched to his chest, he gave a slightly choked gasp. "Kankuro… are you asking me to fake marry you again?" he whispered.

He leaned back, intending to go for suave and aloof, but almost falling off his stool instead; he liked to think he recovered admirably though. "There's no one else I'd rather spend the rest of my life running from enraged family with."

With a dramatic sob, Kiba fell into his arms, raised his glass and cried, "Oh, Kankuro, yes! A thousand times yes!"

As they drunkenly called for refills, Kankuro wondered if Kiba had realised that he'd actually been kind of serious. Maybe it was better not to question it; he wasn't sure what he'd do if the answer was yes.

* * *

It probably should've been expected, but when they finally got to the last stop on their journey, in the sprawling port city of Kiri, the mist was so thick you could hardly see three feet ahead of you. Kankuro grinned as he rummaged through his camera case, already eyeing the eerie display of dozens of ships fading in through the fog.

"Oh man, this shoot is gonna be creepy as _fuck_."

Besides him, Kiba snorted. "That's a good thing?"

"Hell yeah it is! Why'd you think I came all the way out here?" He finally found the lens he had been searching for and clipped it into place with practised ease, fingers flying over buttons and twisting dials as he snapped away to his heart's content.

He could feel his friend looking over his shoulder, but when there was Art to be made nothing in the world could distract him.

"Fair enough," Kiba mumbled, "so hey, there's uh, there's something I was wanting to as-"

The nervous tone was enough to get him to turn around, but before the man could finish, something far more important caught his attention.

"Dude, dude, hold up, I just had the _best_ idea for a photo; can I borrow Akamaru for a sec?"

Dark eyes narrowed at him, but he shrugged and carefully removed the dog's leash and jacket as Kankuro requested and helped to order the great hound into posing for the camera; a hulking beastly form made even larger and more terrifying by obscuring mist and some clever compositional tricks. By the time he'd started muttering 'that's great,' and 'beautiful,' and 'work it darling,' under his breath, Kiba had begun to laugh, causing Kankuro to glance up at him, one eyebrow quirked up.

His smile softened, though he was still chuckling when he said, "You're amazing, you know that?"

After a long ten seconds where Kankuro could only _hope_ that his expression could get across that he did not, in fact, know that and please would he stop making him so confused please, Kiba sighed, ran a hand through his short, choppy hair and glanced off to the side, where Akamaru was still posing for the camera no longer trained on him.

"Look I… you're great and I know you've got your project thing you've gotta do and I've got plans of my own, but I really wanna keep in touch, maybe when I'm done travelling and you're back in town we could… meet up or something? Go out sometime?"

He felt his mouth physically drop open and had to subtly pinch the back of his hand just to get his tongue working again. "Uhhh, yeah? That'd be- uh, y'know, really great, if that's what you want-"

"I do," Kiba said, immediate and confident.

Ohhhh he was definitely blushing now; he tried to hide it as he coughed into his hand, muttering, "Well, guess it's a daaaa… deal… then."

Kiba snorted. "Dude, it's a _date_."

He couldn't help the dopy grin, which lasted for hours, long after they said their – temporary – goodbyes.

* * *

Temari frowned as she scanned the café, needlessly cluttered with plants and slatted room dividers and random collections of jars hanging from the ceiling. "I don't see them anywhere, how about you?" she said, turning to her youngest brother.

He gave a tiny nod towards the back of the room, when she followed his gaze she found their targets. They carefully wove their way through the mess of chairs and tables, until they reached Kankuro and Kiba's; sighing, she settled into one of the empty seats, mindlessly grabbing at the black coffee already waiting for her – dark, rich and sickly sweet, just as she liked it.

"So, what's this big news you to had that was so important it couldn't wait until family night next week?"

The twinned, beaming faces spelled mischief, but that was to be expected; as much as Kiba had grown on her, and as glad as she was that her brother was so genuinely happy and in-love, she couldn't help but always feel just a _bit_ wary around them at all times.

Leaning forwards in perfect unison, Kankuro's grin stretched even wider, to the point where she had to wonder if it was painful, and terribly slowly pulled his left hand from under the table.

She stared at it in horror, wondering what she'd ever done to deserve this life.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, but I _promise_ it's for real this time-"

"Uh-huh, of course it is," she said, sipping at her coffee to try and burn away the bile rising in her throat.

"We're not joking! It's actually happening, there's no way we'd pull the same prank twice," Kiba cut in, looking and sounding ever-so sincere, but then again, she'd thought that the first time around, "we've just been thinking about it for a long time now and we really want this."

Her brother gently slipped his hand into his boyfriend's – she utterly _refused_ to think of them as fiancés – somehow managing to look almost as dopy and lovestruck as Gaara did around Naruto. "Look, I get why you're suspicious, but you know how happy we are together and it's not like we'd fake a four-year relationship just to get everyone again-" she wasn't sure she believed that "-we just want your blessing, oh and I want you two to be my best man and maid of honour."

Gaara was already accepting, gushing about how wonderful that sounded, asking who'd proposed and how, and Temari just felt herself float from her own body, spirit watching the rest of the conversation play out as her empty husk of a body stared blankly into space.

Eventually her brothers coaxed her reluctantly back to reality, Gaara leading her out of the café and into the mid-afternoon sun, Kankuro and Kiba waved them goodbye and they walked down the street, hand-in-hand, sparkly new rings glittering in the sunlight, her littlest brother commenting about how happy he was for them both and wondering why she'd been so quiet at lunch.

"…I'm not gonna believe it until I'm at the wedding." And, knowing what incorrigible pranksters the happy couple was, probably not even then.


End file.
